The Michigan mom raising 3 kids on $70K — and getting back-to-school shopping help from Grandma

This stay-at-home mom in Michigan doesn't want to seem stingy, but with three kids in a one-income household, her focus has to be on needs, not wants. And while she remembers the thrill of starting the school year with a new wardrobe, she's also wary of bowing to consumer pressure. "I hate feeling like brands and companies will dictate what I buy," she tells Bank of Mom and Dad guest editor Lindsey Stanberry of The Purse, who is speaking to parents about their back-to-school expenses. Here's what she ended up spending — with a little help from Grandma.

I am a stay-at-home mom, although I’m looking for a full-time job both for finances and personal fulfillment. My husband works at a nonprofit. We have three kids, and we live on the Lakeshore in Michigan.

Age: 36

Location: Michigan

About our kids: Three kids, in kindergarten, second grade and fifth grade

Type of school: The kids attend a local charter school. We love the community and that we can walk there.

Family income: $70,000

Back-to-school receipts

• Snow boots for two kids: $50 each

• Sneakers for two kids: $60 total (one pair was $20, the other was $40)

• School supplies: $60 per kid. Instead of giving us an itemized list, the school charges a flat fee per kid and buys all the materials, so everyone’s supplies are the same.

Total: $340

• Dance: $60 a month

• Parks and rec soccer: $50 for the season

Total $290 (includes four months of dance)

Total back-to-school spend: $630

Tell us more

How do you approach back-to-school shopping? Do you set a budget?

Instead of focusing on a set dollar amount, I assess the kids' wardrobes and shoes, and I decide who needs what. I try to paint a picture for the kids that everyone gets what they need. We don’t get more than we need, but we do get everything we need.

How do your kids feel about back-to-school shopping? What are they asking for this year?

This year, my mom was very generous and took the kids out to get a large number of new clothes. It’s not lost on me how confident and excited they felt on the first day because of their sparkling new duds.

How do you manage your kids' back-to-school shopping expectations?

My fifth grader is very conscious of fashion — both what is trendy, and how she wants to express herself. I usually affirm her desire to be creative with clothes, and I remind her that we can afford everything we need but not more than that. This year, she’s asking for a new winter coat because she thinks her old winter coat is too childish. She also doesn’t like her lunch box, and I’m not sure if I’ll get a new one or not, but it won’t be right away.

What is the biggest stressor of back-to-school shopping?

Straight-up cash. I love new beginnings, and when I was a kid, I loved having new clothes. Also, my kids do grow out of their old things. I’m very grateful that we can buy new things, but I wish I could buy more.

Another thing is the changing seasons. My kids have plenty of clothes for warm weather, and it’s still hot out. But if we shop, we really need to invest in clothes for the cold weather even if it’s gonna take a couple of weeks before it actually gets cool outside.

Have you ever regretted a back-to-school purchase?

Before I knew that my mom was going to take the kids shopping, I told them I would buy them each a new outfit. Looking back, it wasn’t strictly necessary because they got plenty of clothes from Grandma. I don’t regret it, but I also didn’t know at the time.

How does your back-to-school shopping experience compare with what you grew up with?

My parents had more money. I definitely associate back-to-school with getting a whole new wardrobe. As an adult, I have vacillated on my opinion about whether fashion is worth getting worked up about. But at the end of the day, it feels great to wear clothes you like! I do want to provide some sort of that experience for my kids. Hence my idea for one back-to-school outfit.

Anything else you’d like to add?

I’ve always wanted to be very thoughtful about my purchases so that I remain grateful and not wasteful. I hate feeling like brands and companies will dictate what I buy. I just hope I’m not coming across as stingy to my kids! I want them to know the value of our things and to have an abundance mentality. I take joy in shopping when we do it, but I have to say a hard no very often.

We want to know: Are you a parent who is feeling the pinch too? Tell us about your own back-to-school expenses (and how you feel about it) using this form, and your responses may be used in a future article. Submissions close on Thursday, Aug. 28.