‘My partner’s crazy spending ruined me’: the ugly truth about coerced debt

Joanna Thomas* was working for a UK government department when she received a bonus. Her earnings, as had been the case since she got married in her early 20s, went into her only bank account: a joint one shared with her now ex-husband.

The cash landed in the account in the morning. By the afternoon, her then-husband messaged to let her know he had withdrawn it all to buy a boat on eBay.

Thomas, who is in her 40s and lives in south-west England, says she was working harder and harder to keep on top of spiralling debts that he was accumulating in their joint names.

This was one of years of examples of financially reckless and controlling behaviour, alongside emotional and psychological abuse, that crept up on Thomas. “I was just 18 when I met him. He was ambitious, bright, hard-working, though he has always had a bit of a temper.

“I had just moved to university. My only reference point was my mum and dad’s relationship. They always had joint accounts, and my dad was always very much in charge of money. I thought that was what you did.

“I got engaged early into the relationship and then fell pregnant soon after.”

Money got tight when her now ex-husband quit his job to set up a business and mortgaged their home with a 120% loan to fund the training.

“He began to accrue debts associated with the business, including taking out credit in my name, too, to help keep things afloat.

“He was starting projects that couldn’t be finished. I came home one week and he had taken down the ceiling and walls in the living room and dining room. There was absolutely no way of funding putting plaster back on the walls and putting it right. He wouldn’t renew the MOT on the car, he wouldn’t pay road tax, he would go and park somewhere, not pay for parking and get a fine. He would make crazy decisions, and I would clean up.”

It took more than 11 years after the relationship ended for her to finally escape the impact of a ruined credit file. She estimates that she paid out at least £130,000.

Thomas’s experience is far from unusual, according to the debt charity StepChange. An estimated 1.6 million people were coerced into debt in the past year alone, according to a new report by the charity.

Coerced debt is considered a form of economic abuse in which the perpetrator uses controlling or threatening behaviour to force a partner, family member or friend into owing money. They might put mortgages or bills in the victim’s name; convince them to buy things on a credit card or take out a loan; or take their wages or steal their money, leaving them with no choice but to borrow to live.